The ‘self protection’ of survivors of narcissistic abuse is to draw firm boundaries and tell the perpetrator to stop the abuse, cease the continous gaslighting immediately, and that it is unacceptable for the perpetrator to repeatedly do all that despite the survivor telling them to stop. And that if it does not stop, the survivor will leave.

The perpetrator will expect the survivor to appease him by obedience and deploy high levels of threats to leave, abandon, reject the survivor and to instill fear on the survivor with the aforementioned threats.

The perpetrator will force, threaten, manipulate, and inflict psychological harm by insisting and forcing the survivor to ‘not be triggered’ or react to the perpetrator’s repeated reactive abuse. He will continue to reinforce that the survivor is ‘thinking too much’, that she is ‘imagining things’, denies and deflects his misdeeds, avoid questions and topics completely and divert the focus to the survivor through personal attacks.

These scenarios are created covertly by the perpetrator, as an entrapment, to gain attention, or self aggrandisement that they are needed, wanted, popular, a catch etc.. All at the expense of the distress of the survivor.

Meantime, the survivor is in shock, because they cannot believe what had happened because the perpetrator’s mask just falls away.

This is the element of abuse that is so insidious, because it has nothing to do with our intelligence, or lack of awareness.

This is violence – both emotional and psychological. There is just no excuse to it.

These are the hidden wounds that cannot be seen with the naked eye.

We do not deserve such treatment.

We are called survivors for a reason.

= = = = = = = =
In the world of judgemental people, we cannot even refer to ourselves as victims because to some, being a victim is weak.

This is just so sad.

That we are co-existing in a world where we are more concerned about semantics than the actual abuse itself.

And the worst part is to actually blame the victims that they ‘attract’ such relationships, that it is ‘their fault’ and for failing to ‘read the signs’.

We use someone else’s misfortune and trauma as a launching pad to sling mud at an already delicate psyche and fragile situation. And a few minutes later, we talk about empathy, and being kind, considerate and compassionate.

We mock them for being drama queens, because we have been taught that sucking up our feelings and ‘being in control’ is the ‘adult’ thing to do. And that ‘loosing control’ is a ‘sign of weakness’.

We stifle acts of violence and abuse by asking victims to remain in silence, suck it up, show restraint and self control.

We have grown so numb, apathetic to what others truly feel, let alone allow them the right of self expression which is a fundamental human right, by the way.

At what point have we become morality police against the victims and survivors of abuse?

Is this world inversed so badly that we have completely lost our conscience and humanity?

Are we so drunk on sunshine that we refuse to see and acknowledge reality (or at least some parts of it) because it is too ugly for us to bear.

Is this the part we tell victims and survivors of abuse that they should ‘ground more’ without truly knowing and understanding in full the nature of their unwilling dissociation through forceful fragmentation of their psyche, which, by the way, is a scientific proof away from being an actual offence and violation against our most fundamental human rights.

So ‘survivor’ it should be then.
To appease.
Because ‘victim’ is just too much for us.

This is your sadism, perpetrator.